By
Rick Forbus, PhD
Contentment holds you securely to your life passion. Of course, that means one must first know what their life passion is. It is difficult to be content until life passion is identified, clarified and pursued.
Do not spoil what you have by desiring what you have not; remember that what you now have was once among the things you only hoped for.
Epicurus
I am finding that many search and search for contentment only to find that it is elusive. Why is this intangible, mysterious and inanimate object called contentment so difficult to capture? Since I cannot know your contentment pursuits intimately, let me speak to how it has been with mine.
To describe the journey, I have been on in search to finding and keeping contentment, let’s start with a definition of what contentment may look like when we find it. Contentment can be described as:
o Pleasure
o Happiness
o Peacefulness
o Satisfaction
o Gratification
o Fulfillment
o Delight
o Joy
o Freedom
o Living in your passion
Landing at several plateaus of contentment in these pursuits, it was evident that I still did not fully understand contentment as it related to peace and balance. I understood peach and life-balance in an intellectual way, just not in a practical way. Getting honest with myself was and is a part of what discovery revealed. One of the first plateaus was education. It seemed my upbringing strongly expected that I get an education. This of course is a good thing, but I related a degree from a university as also holding some form of contentment for me as well.
Later, success became the plateau to which I should ascend. All of success’s necessary ingredients took a lot of time and effort. The effort contained elements of expended talent, skills, emotional investment and time. Success is a good thing. However, I related success as some form of this elusive contentment I was aspiring for. Success can be the tangible things we purchase, own and keep repaired. Success can also be an intangible esteem, identity and image. Where it stands for us is not as important as the understanding that contentment may or may not be found in it.
Next, popularity and being well-known in my circles became a plateau to reach. Name branding and marketability were in my sights and I began to posture myself to get invited to speak and train in front of a lot of people. Fame, popularity and personal branding can be like chasing a greased pig. We may catch it but there is some messiness along the way. We have to be careful with the pursuit. But, like the other plateaus, contentment was like a ghost in the night vanishing quickly from my grip.
Later in my life, actually, rather recently, a coach helped me to strip away all my former views of contentment and take a step back. He asked me a profound question. He asked, “Why are you on the planet?” In a subsequent session, he wanted to know if I had ever clarified my life’s passion or my ultimate domain of accomplishment. He was trying to get me to see a preferred future in which I could “live.”. What happened was that when I began to see that preferred future, that domain of accomplishment, I could begin to see my contentment. The alignment of calling, passion, giftedness, skills, temperament and clarity brings me contentment. The pursuit continues but has become more of a refining process than an expedition.
Here’s what happened for me as I made these discoveries.
1. Education was important but without a clear life passion it was mere window dressing for something greater.
2. Success was nice and brought an element of security but had no real purpose to serve the passion.
3. Popularity and having name recognition brought about some billable opportunities but really only facilitated a certain financial predictability.
Here is something to consider: contentment anchors you to your life passion. Contentment is found all along the journey to your life’s passion. The reason this is true is because when we are headed toward that domain of accomplishment, our life’s passions, we become content just getting there. If you are not content getting there, then, you are headed in the wrong direction.
Contentment is not about what you are doing or about what you are having; it is about what you are being. I have found that when I am being what I am supposed to be, then contentment is all around me. A few years back it was about making enough money to have a “place” in the mountains to get away from some of what I was doing. Now, it looks more like freedom than a “place” to go. The mountains are still great and a change in scenery is wonderful, but, being content changes the perspective.
A man became envious of his friends because they had larger and more luxurious homes. So, he listed his house with a real estate firm, planning to sell it and to purchase a more impressive home. Shortly afterward, as he was reading the classified section of the newspaper, he saw an ad for a house that seemed just right. He promptly called the realtor and said, ‘A house described in today’s paper is exactly what I’m looking for. I would like to go through it as soon as possible!” The agent asked him several questions about it and then replied, ‘But sir, that’s your house you’re describing.”
Source unknown
I hope you can have a coach, spouse or a friend to help you find your life’s passion. Until you discover that, contentment will be elusive. Contentment is about who you are and what you are being and becoming. It is less about what you have, are doing and accomplishing. Of course, that is just my opinion.
No person can ever be happy until he has learned to enjoy what he has and not to worry over what he does not have. I had no shoes and complained until I met a man who had no feet. Discontentment makes rich men poor, while contentment makes poor men rich.
Source unknown
Why not this week begin to list your passions, your dreams and your inner thoughts concerning why you are on the planet. Who do you want to become? What do you what to be so that others are changed for the better?
There is no end of craving. Hence, contentment alone is the best way to happiness. Therefore, acquire contentment. – Indian Guru
When should you start on this new journey? Do you have an accountability partner to see you through to your contentment? Are there trappings keeping you from seeing your domain of accomplishment clearly? If time, people and money were not objects of distraction and obstacles what would you be today? That’s right, not what would you be doing, but what would you be becoming? Contentment is found in the middle of you becoming what you are on the planet for.
A contented man is one who enjoys the scenery along the detours.
Source unknown
Until you make peace with who you are, you’ll never be content with what you have.
Let me hear from you.
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