By Rick K. Forbus, PhD
In a world that is continually changing it is essential to cultivate an open mind and embrace new perspectives is an oft used mantra. One modern philosopher (or was it a podcaster…) retorted, “Open-mindedness is the willingness to consider alternative viewpoints and be receptive to diverse experiences and ideas.” There is no intent in this article to defend or deny that open-mindedness leads to a more diverse mindset, or that cultivating the mind to be more open and willing to embrace new perspectives leads us to something better.
I have lived a blessed life full of opportunities, victories, accomplishments and have made a better-than-average living. Job roles have always challenged me in a great way in that each gave me incentive to expand the descriptions of the role as it had been viewed previously. Even when bumps were encountered in my career the reinvention of my job path and the change in direction has been exhilarating. Never has change been a fearful situation for very long.
This attitude was never something that I intentionally developed, but, rather, more of an observational tool to push through challenges as I had seen my mother do. Both of my parents were very resilient people (my mother is still living at this writing at 94 years old), but my mother faced many changes that most do not. Her sister was killed by an automobile (hit while walking to school on a sidewalk) in front of my mom. My mother’s brother died early and my mom’s father died at 29 forcing my mom to be raised for a short while by relatives while her mother changed towns to work so they could survive the drastic financial changes.
Change is inevitable in life and the workplace. How we face it and whether we recover slowly with anger, bitterness and fear, or rejoice through it will be key to stress management and general mental health. As a career and executive coach I hear many stories of change and challenge. Some stories are filled with bitterness and others with blessing. Often the “sucker punch” of an unexpected layoff, termination or demotion sends individuals into a “tail spin” of emotion. This often occurs at high levels of depression, despair and fear. Sometimes there is not a quick or clear solution to the feelings of rejection and the lack of fairness that happens in workplace change. Human resilience is not easily acquired; yet, folks like my mom unexpectedly learn it. Unexpected change is great teacher of resilience if we will let it.
My wife and I have gone through a two-plus-year transition. This transition has no drama that compares to my Mother’s life or some of the professionals I am privileged to support in the hard times. Nancy, my wife and I just decided to transition from the county we had lived and worked in for thirty years to a new area of a large metro. Nothing spectacular to report other than it took us two attempts to acquire some land to build a new house on, and an innumerable amount of calls, emails and more than one visit to the permitting office in our new county. It happens often that a popular area to build a house comes with an influx of many, many new families trying to do the same as we. It is often also found that fast-growing areas are not prepared for the growth. I did emerge from the permitting office with a signed permit in hand after nine months of watching the “proverbial permitting can” get kicked down the “we are overwhelmed at the permitting office” road. Victory! A picture was taken of the signed permit as I sat in my vehicle before backing out of the permitting office’s parking lot. (Admittedly, I felt a little like my ancestors depicted victory in the movie “Braveheart.”)
So, what is the point? Our beautiful home that we sold to make this transition had a lovely yard full of trees, shrubs and gorgeous Zoysia grass. More than anything else in the transition I hated to leave the stacked rock flower beds, the trees, shrubs, and flowers we had planted in our twenty years of living there. Now, it is new dirt, raw and rough and in need of some care. With the opportunity of a beautiful new place, and a fantastic lot and view that we now love, comes new efforts. Much like a career move or work and life transitions the present circumstances need a new viewpoint, new imagining and new perspectives. Even if one isn’t in a transition, reimagining a present reality can bring clarity to the routine and rote activities can get new energy.
Clients who employ me are looking for several things:
- They want to rediscover the excitement and positive energy they have lost in a job they love.
How do we “rediscover” in a familiar workplace and a present job role? This is not easy nor immediate but begins with some (1) reexamination of passion, purpose and the peace that comes from simply being employed. I refer to it as “level setting” the present reality. Secondly, (2) mind shaping the present to a preferred future mentality. This is not easy, as well, but is possible with some routine of rethinking and with the discipline of pulling back mentally from the redundancy of the job and practicing a more hopeful thought process of what could be. And, thirdly, (3) have some conversations with those who can help shape the environment about your hope to rediscover and reset your present experience in the job.
This is not an exhaustive list of the rediscovery process but will get you moving to the next step.
2. They learn to bring fresh eyes to a familiar job.
The parking lot, or, their desk at home and the people they work with may stay the same, but they have begun working with a newly discovered mindset. (Not easy nor a swift process…) My clients are encouraged to ask themselves a few “how” questions as they mind shape and create this new mentality of working in a preferred future. For instance, “How can I be missing a new viewpoint by bringing biases to my job?” Another question could be, “How have I held back my potential in this role because of fear, doubt and boredom?” Another “fresh-new-learning” question could be, “How could I reinvent my appreciation for this role and the opportunities it holds for my future?” These are not the only guided questions I would use with a client but you get the point. Reinventing a familiar job situation is harder sometime than leaving and starting over. This takes mental and emotional work.
3. They learn that these new “experiences” shape their perspectives.
Repetition and incremental rethinking brings to reality a new perspective. Again, this is not swift nor easy to do. Most people have trouble going through this process without an accountability partner like a coach. New learning from a former set of patterns takes some behavior modification. I can only share the concept in an article like this but here is a schematic for relearning. This will take you to the new reality eventually. Step 1 – Practice thinking differently about your present reality (job, lifestyle, health, relationships, etc.) Step 2 – You will eventually feel differently about this reality. Your emotions follow your thinking. Step 3 – Move these feelings into habits of thought. Now that you are rediscovering how you feel about the present job environment try practicing these thoughts as habits. Step 4 – Once the habits take root transfer them into robust habits. These habits have transformed into nonnegotiable habits (robust habits). Now, you are thinking differently about the job situation (and, any other situation in your life). Robust habits are strong, repeatable, non-distracted and deep drivers to a new reality. Then, Step 5 – You will automatically move into a transformed state of being. You now love your new perspective with an old job. (Again, same in any area of life…) The people, the tasks and the environment have transformed in to a new fresh state of being.
4. They understand that core values anchor their feelings during these changes.
It probably isn’t so hard to go back to the beginning of your career and reflect a bit. Maybe you should reflect on your present employment in the interview stage and early days of your hire. Ask yourself, “Have my core values changed since the earlier stages of my career?” What would you list as the top 3 core values of your life, your working environment and your relationships? How do you experience, or, not experience, these core values presently? If, at least, some of your core values are met in your job now, find ways to celebrate those and intentionally build the others that are lagging behind. Although this is easily stated but harder to accomplish, core values can be reexamined, reset and allowed to grow in any situation. As you work to clarify and enliven your core values, your feelings of positivity should closely follow. These feelings will need to be intentional and organized in your mind and heart to succeed.
5. They discover that they can love something familiar in a new way which improves their self-awareness.
Self-awareness is foundational to self-improvement. Once you understand enough about yourself and the reasons you feel the way you do about things, including your present job environment, there is hope that you can begin to “turn” your feelings. We all have left the familiar at times to pursue the unknown. Some are still living in the unknown while others have gone back to their roots for a new anchoring lifestyle. Thus, the idea above, “Love something familiar in a new way” becomes a pursuit in and of itself. Earlier in this article I drew the comparison of cutting grass in a new environment. It’s still grass. It’s still laborious. It’s still a similar task than before (in my previous environment). What has changed is my self-awareness and my mindset. The new property, in a new place brings about new thinking. It solicits new emotions. As my thinking shaped to a preferred future (new environment to cut grass), my feelings followed. This may be too much of a simplification to the statement; “doing a familiar job with a new attitude,” as mentioned in the title of this article. However, the first step to staying somewhere with a new mindset is taking the first step!
Ask yourself if there can be a change in the way you look at your present situation (work, life and relationships). Some of the steps I have inserted into this writing may assist your journey. A credential and experienced coach could be a vital help to your journey.
Here is an interesting old illustration about perspective.
A Different View
After all, it’s just how you look at things. A man was driving in the country one day and he saw an old man sitting on a fence rail watching the cars go by. Stopping to pass the time of day, the traveler said, “I never could stand living out here. You don’t see anything, and I’m sure you don’t travel like I do. I’m on the go all the time.”
The old man on the fence looked down at the stranger and said, “I can’t see much difference in what I’m doing and what you’re doing. I sit on the fence and watch the autos go by and you sit in your auto and watch the fences go by. It’s just the way you look at things.”
Rick Forbus, PhD – CEO – Trove, Inc. – troveinc.com
To inquire about executive coaching email me at: DrTrove@troveinc.com
Text to: 404-509-6167
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