By Rick Forbus, PhD
You do not have to be in the executive coaching-consulting industry to know (mostly confidential sessions) that many, if not most, leaders today have some form of worry. John, a coaching client, told me privately in a coaching session that he did not sleep well most nights because of business fears. These fears emerged from several aspects of John’s work life:
· Anxiety around his personal failures that seemed to him in full view of his superiors
· Concern of losing top talent because of a flawed hiring and compensation award system.
· Panic when asked to share opinions without adequate preparation time.
· Dread to sit in open-agenda meetings (his superiors and even his downline reports) because of exposing his (perceived) weaknesses.
· Apprehensions to push for innovation and out-of-the-box approaches to the future growth of the company, because of the risk of the “new.”
Sadly, this is John’s short list of fears. In reality, every day he lives deeply in an “imposter role” of a behavioral “shell game.”
Published in a Work section of www.cnbc.com I uncovered these findings:
)Charles Mitchell and Steve Odland are the Contributors to the article excerpt below.)
What keeps CEOs up at night? When it comes to external worries, in most cases, executives must simply hope for the best. But most of their internal fears lie directly within their control.
As we head deeper into the year ahead, The Conference Board polled over 800 about the biggest business challenges they expect to face in 2019. Executives opined on not only their top external concerns, like trade and politics, but also their top internal anxieties.
To that end, here are American CEOs’ top three internal anxieties for 2019 and ideas for turning these challenges into opportunities.
1. Attracting and retaining top talent
2. Creating new business models because of disruptive technologies
3. Developing next-generation leaders
As frightening as these three internal anxieties may seem, in my coaching client world, there are other fears in play. The ones I want to speak to are more intimate and more personal fears. Although the above challenges mentioned in the article are significant, they do not compare to John’s list. All of us have fears. In a short excerpt from a transition therapeutic organization called “At the Crossroads” (www.atthecrossraods.com) I discovered this:
A recent study among American young adults showed several things that they consider to be their “biggest problems.” One was neighborhood violence, another was poverty; they mentioned global warming.
But the number one concern of this group of young people was the dissolution of families.
In the report on edutopia.org, it states, “Respondents consider the breakdown of the family to be the most pressing issue facing their generation today.” As families are facing more and more problems, it is evident that the toll it is taking on the generation and it is making its way into their daily lives.
Millennials, when asked about fears (globally) came up differently than older mid-level and senior executives (the group my coaching tends to serve). Millennials said this to one survey by www.universumglobal.com:
We asked Millennials about their fears related to their work life. On the whole, Millennials fear they (1) will get stuck with no development opportunities(40 %), (2) that they will not realize their career goals(32 %) and (3) that they won’t find a job that matches their personality(32 %).
Baby Boomers and Gen X’ers have a different take on fear.
(This article is adapted from “You Can’t Google It! The Compelling Case for Cross-Generational Conversations at Work” by Phyllis Weiss Haserot – published by Morgan James Publishing.)
Work Fears of Boomers
Idealistic, individualistic boomers still in management roles who want to stay connected to work, be respected and continue adding value:
Fears: Being displaced by younger managers and new ways of doing things (technological and other), reduction in team productivity if they permit more flexibility and new methods as yet unproven to them, loss of professional identity, loss of relevance and loss of clients.
This aligns well with John’s feelings that were mentioned in the opening of this article. (same age, same basic feelings and fears)
Work Fears of Gen Xers
Independent-minded, skeptical Gen Xers who are eager to take over from baby boomers but have more work/life flexibility and are in a lifecycle stage of overwhelm. They feel they must win over boomers for succession, transitioning and knowledge transfer and also win over millennials who often have unaligned expectations. This is a small generation with less clout in numbers than the others.
Fears: Losing clients, reduced profitability, losing millennial employees (turnover) in support roles, not being adequately prepared for major leadership roles, lack of support from boomers and millennials to get the work done and not having time for their families and personal lives.
Generation X, though smaller, holds the keys to what our future workforce will look like. (in my opinion) They are endeared to work-life balance, skeptical and may be underprepared for some of the huge leadership roles, simply and innocently because they are more nostalgic and life-balance oriented than Boomers. Many Boomers did not consider life-balance a choice, their model was long hours, press hard, and, take less vacations. In these Boomer behaviors, we see John’s fears again.
In addition to the earlier excerpt on millennial fears from Universum Global, from the article by Haserof, I am quoting now, we find more on millennial fears:
Work Fears of Millennials
Ambitious millennials who are impatient to move up and eager to understand those of other generations and develop rapport with them. This is insufficiently recognized by members of older generations, many of whom think millennials are just demanding to do things their way. This is a very large demographic segment positioned to have a great influence on the workplace.
Fears: Not understanding perspectives and expectations of older colleagues, “failing” — not doing everything right, disapproval, not appearing smart, not having a voice and having their self-expression restricted.
Fear in General
My thoughts on this idea of fear in the workplace conclude with some practical observations. This article is really about John, and other clients of mine like him. This article is about you, me and others we will never know about because they are practicing, like John, hiding their fears at work. Fear carries a wide range of meaning. That is scary in and of itself! Here are some descriptors of fear:
· Terror
· Horror
· Dread
· Distress
· Fright
· Panic
· Alarm
· Apprehension
· Anxiety
· Nightmare
· Phobia
Fortunately, the whole list of descriptors is not referenced here. Fear manifests in all areas of life. Unless one has been “conditioned” in some way to deny fear, all of mankind fears something or someone. From the fear of public speaking to the fear of flying, managers, leaders, supervisors, employees and owners are facing fear of some kind.
This article is not intended to pursue a scientific exploration nor an emotional probe in the dark deep meaning behind all these fears. (Maybe another article.) Let’s just look at John’s fears. He told them to me. They are real to him (maybe you and me) and there are practical ways to work on them. Here are John’s list of fears again:
· Anxiety around his personal failures that are in full view of his superiors
· Concern of losing top talent because of a flawed hiring and compensation award system.
· Panic when asked to share opinions without adequate preparation time.
· Dread to sit in open-agenda meetings (his superiors and even his downline reports) because of exposing his weaknesses.
· Apprehensions to push for innovation and out-of-the-box approaches to the future growth of the company because of the risk of the “new.”
John’s fear about personal failures rose from a hard upbringing which has led him to think he has to work and live “perfectly” before others. My challenge to him: find ways to give himself permission to fail, but, “fail forward,” as John Maxwell wrote so eloquently about many years ago. (Failing Forward – John Maxwell) Engage with your colleagues and discuss how no one can contribute without taking some professional, and at times, some personal risks. I encouraged John to speak sincerely and directly to one of his up-line reports about how this person was intimidating him, but, we carefully scripted the conversation so that John would not feel vulnerable.
John’s fear of losing top talent is in every size business. He saw losing an “A-Player” and saw it as a personal defeat. He was conflict avoidant and less-than-transparent around his peers and superiors when asked about the reason so-and-so was leaving the organization to go to a competitor. Fears mounted and the bright skies of everyday work became dark, cold and daunting. John was losing the edge he had when younger not because of age but because of fear. (At least in his mind and heart he was losing his edge.)
How can John, you and I overcome workplace and life’s fears? This is not an easy and quick answer. But, for the sake of this writing, look at what psychologists say and about overcoming fear. In an article entitled “Stealth Super-Powers” in psychologytoday.com by Jeff Wise, November 1, 2010 we find some remedies for fear. The tag line says: deep within you are powers you’ll never know you have until they’re unlocked by fear. Some excerpts from this fantastic article can help us understand this emotion better. Jeff Wise writes:
“Most of us tend to think of fearas a negative, as something to be avoided. But fear can have powerfully positive effects as well. When awakened, it can unleash abilities we never knew we had, unlocking reserves that are otherwise hidden. Even low levels of fear can have a positive effect. A century ago, physiologists recognized that we tend to do better at a given task as the intensity of the challenge increases. Eventually we reach a performance maximum, beyond which our abilities begin to degrade. Taken together, these performance trends yield an inverted-U shape, known to psychologists as the Yerkes-Dodson law. Just when the peak occurs depends not only on the person but on the skill involved.”
I know, for me, when facing a huge project in business that seems scary because of the “unknowns” involved, fear drives my energy. The fear of failing or the fear of letting a client down ramps up my focus and brings me energy to work in to the night and to push through to the end. It is fear that provides the vitality.
Jeff Wise sums things up with some clear ideas to overcoming fear. Look at this:
1. Response – Millions of years ago, our ancestors lived in a world in which danger was ever- present. Wild animals, natural disasters, rival clans—death could come at any time. Humans needed a danger-response system that was fast and vigorous.
Today, that same system remains with us, silently monitoring our environments. As sensory information enters the brain, it splits into two paths. One feeds into consciousness, where we can observe and remember it. The other flows through the subconscious where a region called the amygdala filters it for signs of danger. When a match is found, the amygdala can trigger an automatic response so quickly that we might respond before we’re consciously aware that there’s a problem.
2. Strength – Fine motor skills (used to thread a needle or put a key in a lock) tend to decline when we’re under pressure. But gross motor skills (used to run or jump) peak much later, if at all: The closer a bear is nipping at your heels, the faster you’ll run. Penn State kinesiologist Vladimir Zatsiorsky has researched how stress affects the performance of weight lifters. He finds that when most of us try to lift a heavy object under ordinary circumstances, we can only use about 65 percent of our muscles’ maximum theoretical strength. Trained weight lifters can do a bit better, achieving about 80 percent. In essence, we possess an automatic control system that limits the amount of strain we can put on our body’s machinery. How does the body unleash these reserves? The answer might lie in another, related aspect of the fear response: It deadens pain. Under acute stress the brain releases two kinds of chemicals, endocannabinoids and opiods; both are powerful analgesics. Their painkilling effects override the aching feeling we normally get when we try to lift heavy weights.
3. Focus – Some 250 years ago, the British wit Samuel Johnson took note of one of fear’s most helpful but overlooked benefits—it helps shed distractions. “Depend upon it, sir,” he quipped, “when a man knows he is to be hanged in a fortnight, it concentrates his mind wonderfully.” When an imminent threat appears, the subconscious mind takes matters in hand by narrowing attention to things that are really important. Deep within the midbrain, a small, primitive structure called the locus ceruleus sends out projections to widespread areas of the limbic system and the frontal cortex, releasing a potent neurotransmitter and hormone called norepinephrine—the brain’s version of adrenaline. Norepinephrine causes the mind to be more alert and active when attention is essential.
4. Time Dilation – The ability to seemingly slow down time is one of fear’s strangest effects, yet one of the most commonly reported. Travis Pastrana says that when he rides his motorcycle off of a ramp, “a two-second jump can feel like twenty seconds.” Neuroscientist David Eagleman of the Baylor College of Medicine investigated the phenomenon by creating a wristband that flashes numbers at a high rate of speed. An adjustment allows the display to be tuned so that the numbers flashed just a little bit faster than a subject can normally perceive. He wondered: In the grip of intense fear, would time actually slow down for someone wearing it, so that they could perceive the flashing numbers? To answer the question, he arranged for volunteers to free-fall for 150 feet from an amusement park attraction called a “Suspended Air Catch Device.” It happens that, even in the terror of free fall, they couldn’t read the numbers. So, the brain doesn’t really perceive time in shorter intervals, Eagleman concluded. Instead, he reasoned, it must create a more detailed memory of the event, so that in retrospect it seems like more things occurred.
The take-away for me is that fear can help us not only accomplish tasks at a higher level, but, when intentionally utilized for its positive benefits, fear may eliminate the paralyzing effects of poor leadership and the inability to act in the workplace. If John happens to read this, then, he, like you and I can lift our thinking beyond the intense threat of fearful scenarios into fierce accomplishment! There is obvious hopefulness in the swirl of crippling fear as leaders and as managers. Leaders have to spend time alone thinking about how to overcome fear. Whether we as adults are still fighting the fears of childhood, or, we have allowed fears to fully bloom in our adult lives, fear can be conquered and used for strength. This little story was discovered in my speaking notes. The source is unknown.
“A man who hid for thirty-two years, fearing punishment of pro-Nazi wartime activity, says he used to cry when he heard happy voices outside, but dared not show himself even at his mother’s funeral. Janez Rus was a young shoemaker when he went into hiding at his sister’s farmhouse in June of 1945. He was found years later, after she bought a large supply of bread in the nearby village of Zalna. “If I had not been discovered, I would have remained in hiding. So, I am happy that this happened,” Rus told a reporter. Throughout those years he did nothing. He never left the house, and could only look down at the village in the valley.”
The poor man in the above story represents some leaders I have coached. Although still employed with great responsibility, they are “hiding” from conflict because of the fear of failure. They “only look down at the village” of more successes, leadership influence and fulfillment. John, our prototypical fearful leader, is at the highest role in a large company. The “word on the street” is that he “ducks and hides” from any controversy and even making solidly “exposing” decisions. He just goes along to get along. Many of the seasoned and young fresh team members have lost respect for him. He used to fight for his ideas and employees’ causes. He used to push his creativity and customer-centric relational strengths to land new business. Now, when confronted about growth and revenue he blames. As a coach, I can easily illustrate his “life-cycle” of effectiveness on a flip chart. John had an ascendant line of success in his thirties, got promoted without leadership development to big roles in his forties. He now, still a young man, is marginalized and does not even know why or how it happened. When any of us spend our emotional currency in fear, we lose much of the intuitions and grit that we once had without fear. Great leaders have grit and strong intuitions.
Practical Solutions
Let me break down John’s fears.
· Anxiety around personal failures – Solution – John should get back engaged with a well-trained and experienced executive coach. John has to look at his “identity” personally, against the backdrop of his “identity” in the workplace. This is not easy, but, many of my clients have gone through this process. If we are insecure at home and socially, we are insecure at work. What happens is that we “present” a professional behavior at work that is alongside or “parallel” to our “real” personal behaviors.(declared VS real) An imposter identity at work grinds away as a stress behavior causing resistance to who we really are. Eventually, fear crops up. The prevailing fear of being “found out” is crippling to leaders.
· Concern of losing top talent – Solution – John needs to remember the days of youthful success and use those former actions as a goal sheet for an immediate turnaround in his behaviors. John wants to be liked. He is a people pleaser. In his earlier career, he was a “rock star” managing director with a fantastic followership. As he got promoted, maybe prematurely, without strong professional development, he began to lose the edge. Not the edge intellectually, but became awkward, trying to “masquerade” as a corporate leader. He forgot to take his “real personality” with him. His identity became cloudy to him. His play acting was (as still is) not working for him. He was losing great talent because he was too busy play acting to connect with talented employees. That has hurt him as a credible and influential leader. Connecting often, like he had done earlier, would begin to improve this fear. The fear of loss is a prevailing fear. John is losing friends and colleagues because he has lost his edge of relational strength. Self-awareness grows very dim when we are allowing fear to drive our actions.
· Panic to share opinions – Solution – John should preemptively work on his opinions in private. He should bounce them off his executive coach, and his “safe and trusted” colleagues. When asked, he should be ready, and answer without fear, because he has worked his opinions out. Because John has lost his vigor, and, now lets fear suck the life out of his former ebullient personality, he is not sure of his opinions and intuitions. In his “former self” he would let ideas and opinions flow. Now, he is an over-cautious placeholder in executive level meetings. He plays the verbal “shell game” as well as any person I have heard, except politicians, of course. As he answers now with fear, he does not really answer but creates a verbal vortex with no solutions or controversial opinions. It is neutrality at its finest. If I am an investor, it would be concerning that the highest levels of the leadership team are playing “behavioral and verbal shell games” and not producing ideas and even some healthy divergence in their dialogues. Fear strips away that executive edge we all need to play in the “executive sandbox” well.
· Dread to sit in open-agenda meetings – Solution – John should be professionally aggressive to find out about agendas that need him to engage. You would think this is a fundamental idea at the executive level. Some of you would be shocked to see how poorly executives set up meetings. I do not mean that they cannot get a meeting on the calendar and get people to attend. John should make it mandatory that someone is informing him of agendas, and, if he does not get this in advance he should hold fast to either not attending or some other recourse. Again, years ago, he would have been fine with surprises in meetings, now, fear does not allow that freedom of spirit. The fear crowds out any chance of relaxing and letting the open-agenda meeting flow. It is too great a chance to John’s new-found identity of fear.
· Apprehensions to push for innovation – Solution – John should prepare, in advance, innovative ideas and proposals. He should spend a great deal of time in professional development having someone that is unbiased challenge his ideas in private. He should rehearse his out-of-the-box ideas and get them organized so to be confident in informal meetings. Many, many catalytic thinkers lose their edge when they got promoted. Sad. John should go back to his leadership roots, prepare well, and, let things flow. The huge salary now becomes a wasteful expense because he has lost his contribution to innovation for the company. Funny how it can go in the wrong direction because of fear. John, as well as, you and me, have to find the strength and courage to leverage our longevity and experience. We should not retreat in fear because of a job role or title.
In summary, any of us who lead people, need an executive coach. Fears become fully grown emotional monsters when left to our own imagination. We lead alone. John may one day see that he needs some realignment. That is not a crime. Great leaders and managers should continually lean forward with their professional development. They do not leave their leadership skills and emotional intelligence to chance. Those who desire to improve continually, until they decide to retire, choose to have professional development as a part of their routines.
As more and more artificial intelligence is entering into the world, more and more emotional intelligence must enter into leadership.
― Amit Ray
If you are “John,” or, want to make sure you do not find yourself fearful in your workplace, consider hiring a coach.
Rick Forbus, PhD
CEO – Trove, Inc. – Atlanta
DrTrove@troveinc.com
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